From Fear to Freedom: Finding Joy and Growth Through Movement

Fiona: 00:02

We often think of wellbeing as one-dimensional. What if we look at it from a different perspective?

Josephine: 00:08

The possibilities are endless. All we have to do is step outside the square.

Let's walk this walk together and hold on tight for the ride.

Fiona: 00:16

My name is Fiona. I'm a corporate wellness facilitator, body image and eating psychology coach and a lover of joyful experiences.

Josephine: 00:24

And I'm Josephine, a dietitian, somatic release therapist and a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist.

Fiona and Josephine: 00:30

Welcome to Outside the Square.

Fiona: 00:35

Hello and welcome back to Outside the Square for this week. If you tuned into our first episode of season three last week, you will know that we farewelled the beautiful Josephine from co-hosting Outside the Square as she takes a step back from work to prepare for and welcome a new baby to her family.

So what that means is that I now get the beautiful honour and privilege of bringing you some stories and conversations from some amazing healers, coaches and practitioners. ‘

So today I would like to introduce you to Lara Adler. Lara is yoga instructor, an aerial instructor and a wellness coach and Lara’s outlook on movement is all about joy and play. Lara has used movement to change her life and to increase her confidence as well and I can’t wait for you to hear her story.

I’ll be sharing all the ways you can keep connected with Lara in the show notes of this episode. I really hope you enjoy listening to this beautiful conversation.

Well, it's so exciting to have you here.

Would you like to start by introducing yourself a little bit to our beautiful Outside the Square Podcast listeners?

Lara: 02:03

Awesome. I'm so happy to be here. My name is Lara. I am currently not teaching but I was an aerial yoga and yoga teacher before and that's how I met you, so.

Fiona: 02:16

And that was I don't know, quite a few years ago now.

Lara: 02:20

Like 2017, maybe. Yeah.

Fiona: 02:26

What was really lovely about when I got to meet you and be taught by you was your view, your attitude on movement and your playfulness and your view that, you know, yoga doesn't have to be perfect and I think for me as a recovering perfectionist, that was really refreshing.

And I think that I'm not alone in that feeling. When I think about movement or think about exercise, we get the sense that we need to do it right to be able to build whatever muscle that we want to build or look as good as other people in class and it's a great opportunity to have a conversation where we can, you know, undo some of that conditioning that we've had around what movement needs to be.

So I know that you came into aerial teaching as a bit of a decision, that was a really conscious decision that you made. Tell us a little bit more about that.

Lara: 03:40

Yeah, so I mean, I started my actual aerial journey in 2015. I'd never done any aerial before, but we were in South Africa, my husband and myself, and we knew we were moving to Australia and I needed something to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone.

I knew that it was going to be a hard move to move countries, to start again so I just found this aerial studio, which was more like a circus studio, and we were doing silks so I did silks there for just under a year before moving to Sydney and that was a life changing experience that build my confidence. I met amazing people, the community and that it, yeah it really changed the trajectory of my life and when I got to Australia, I just, I continued to look for studios to do so silks at. And then there was something in me that was just like I have to teach. I've never taught anything before. But I just I felt like I have to share this amazing apparatus, and I wasn't confident enough to teach silks, because having someone seven meters up in the air is a little bit daunting to tell them if they've wrapped correctly, but I thought I could do something a little closer to the ground and I came across anti gravity and signed up for a course in Melbourne and yeah, headed straight there, did the teacher training, and by the end of the teacher training, I was offered a job.

And that was amazing, because it was a huge journey for me to be confident enough to stand in front of the teachers at the teacher training and to teach, and my voice was like ‘argh’ but I was like, this is something I need to do. It was just something inside me and yeah, that was my journey towards becoming a teacher. So started teaching slowly at another studio with like, a few kind of half classes to just get me into it, and then progressed to teaching full classes at multiple studios, so.

Fiona: 06:03

I love that. I think the idea where you say I had to at the end of my teacher training, I had to get up and teach the other teachers. I mean, that already. I'm like, no, no, thank you.

Lara: 06:18

Haha, yeah.

Fiona: 06:19

Terrifying. But as you say that that confidence that comes from from doing that, and that sense that you know, you just knew that it was something that you wanted to, to overcome.

Lara: 06:32

Yeah, I think like, in 2015, I came across the quote from Jack Canfield, everything you want is on the other side of fear. And it just became like my quote to live by because fear was the thing that was holding me back the whole time. It was my understanding of myself was that I was shy, that I had no confidence and I had to play into this fear, play into the idea of like, maybe what I'm feeling is not nervousness, maybe it's excitement and it shows up in the same way in your body, but it's how you frame it.

So I began to reteach myself, how I, how I think about myself how I think about and we all do it, the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves become who we are and our beliefs and, and so you know, it's a constant journey and continues to be one it's not something that ever goes away, but you you learn about yourself through discomfort and so practicing discomfort became like my mantra in everything that I did.

And so I really remember that night before I had to do the Teach Back and sitting and just writing notes and like, trying to like cheerlead myself into, it's you know, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. And, and I kind of, yeah, when I did the Teach Back the the teacher was surprised because I'd been so quiet throughout the whole teacher training and she was like, Who are you? I don't know.

But yeah, there was there was something about it that just felt like, like, who I was, like, I just, it's a feeling of I've never had before, but it was something that I was just drawn to. And I just, I felt like it brought so much depth to my life and I just really wanted to share that with other people.

Fiona: 08:25

I love when you just said that also that that part around feeling those different feelings in your body, so the fear and feeling that well what if this is excitement that actually that feels that can feel the same physically and that's often what we teach, is around that, how do we keep that connection between mind and body. So how do we feel what's going on, but reframe the story that we are telling ourselves about that feeling that we're having physically so really leaning, listening deeper to what that feeling physically is. And and really being able to make that connection.

Lara: 09:06

Hmm, I think like asking yourself the question, Is this is this true? Is this real? or is this just a story that you know I'm making up? and, and so kind of, yes, sitting deeper into it and being introspective and questioning yourself as to like, is this a learned belief or is this something that maybe I can change, maybe I have the opportunity to, to look at it differently. To change my perspective. I mean, that's what aerial does for you like hanging upside down, you see the world in a different way so it, it kind of played into that whole idea of like changing the way you look at things.

Fiona: 09:46

Yeah. And it's so true and when you talk about that, sort of leaning into discomfort, and actually putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, you know, when you're upside down, and someone's like ‘move your right hand’, you're like, which hand is that, you know, you have no idea about your sort of body's perception in space and so you kind of have to accept that you might not look pretty, because you just have no idea where you are in space at that moment, or what your body's doing. So it takes time to sort of, you know, get to that space where you can then feel comfortable with that change in perception or that change in actually, the way your physical body is hanging in space.

Lara: 10:29

Yeah and I think it becomes like a metaphor for life, like, as you get more comfortable in changing your perspective, so it might be hanging upside down, then you add in the next move, and it's like, okay, well, now I'm gonna climb up and like, you know, and that's maybe a bit uncomfortable, but then my perspective is going to change a little bit more and, and it's something that I would feel in my own body and see in the people that I taught that, you know, you do wraps, and it's not comfortable, but you build up the awareness over time, you understand that it will get easier, your body will adapt, we do adapt, and but that initial, like, Oh, why am I why am I doing this, and that, I think, that whole thing of discomfort in any sort of movement, is just interesting to notice. Because it's always where the growth happens, like you, you can't really grow being comfortable so whatever it is in life, it's like putting yourself into those uncomfortable positions and it could be the smallest of things, it's stepping into the studio or into a gym or trying a new movement and looking stupid, like we all do it, you have to be a beginner, you have to be, and it's the mindset around that the playfulness around like, sure, like, Okay, this doesn't feel good, or I don't feel good, but it will pass and it'll change and you'll change and your body will change and so it's, it's interesting the whole levels of discomfort and noticing that you will become comfortable in that discomfort, and then it's up to you to then take the next step to level up. Like I see life is like a game and seeing, you know, the levels of your life and playing the game and not taking yourself too seriously like it's just, it's more fun if you don't.

Fiona: 12:28

I read a statistic the other day that said 94%, or 98 94%, it was a four year olds are creative. Versus, like 12% of 44 year olds. So I think that that sense of being a beginner again, and sort of going if it's something new, you know, if you're going back to, you know, a dance, dancing that a lot of people do this children when you go back as an adult, but I went back as an adult, and I tell you, it was terrifying, even though there was something that I knew about it. And I had the same feeling when I started anti gravity as well as sort of walked in and went, you know, I love the idea of swinging.

But what is this going to actually be? And where is that discomfort going to be? And learning to just trust your body. Learning to trust that, you if you do it the way, you know, there's a there's a pathway to get into those moves, right? If you follow the path and trust, it will work out right, and that can be hard when you're hanging up in the air and you're like, oh, is this gonna work? Or the same when you have to demonstrate when I went back to ballet class, I remember there was a point where they split us up and they used to do that when we were kids, and so you had to do some moves while other people were watching. So you’re like No, but you're right, it's about we're all here to learn. So we're all going to be at different levels. We're all going to have different abilities. And I think certainly in my journey that has been something really interesting is seeing the different parts that are the different moves that I find really easy to do, and other people find really hard. And then the opposite way when we try and do something and I can't do it, and they can do it really easily that we're actually just all different. And we're at different levels of ability and so why not just have fun with it?

Lara: 14:27

Yeah, yeah, I think that's the biggest thing is just meeting yourself where you're at, like, on the day in the moment, because every day is different, you feel different, you are different. And to, you know, to expect certain things of yourself, like you said, you know, going to dance class, as an adult is different than as a child and to expect your body to be the same or for you to feel the same would be crazy, because, you know, so it's, it's definitely a learning process of being able to do that for yourself and the acknowledgement that, yeah, maybe today, it's just really not working. And that's okay, maybe tomorrow, it'll be better.

Fiona: 15:15

Yeah, I've had that before where, you know, one day I can balance on one leg, then the next day, I was like, but I did it yesterday, now I can’t do it. And I think that sometimes can hold us back that sense that we're not progressing, or we're not getting there, or, we're not, we're not getting better. But I think sometimes we need to not necessarily think about the end goal, but to think about just am I enjoying it, and maybe it doesn't work today, maybe today is the day I need to stretch rather than balance.

Lara: 15:45

Yeah. So true. It's just to, to Yeah, to be in that moment, and to, to feel what you need to feel and it's the same as you know, like, sometimes stepping onto a yoga mat or stepping into a gym, and you might have expectations going in of how it's going to be and it might be a completely different experience and then it's, you can either judge yourself on that, or you can ask, well, what is this trying to teach me? Or what can I learn from the experience? I see, each opportunity is a, you know, each time you do a movement, or you go into a space, it's, it's an opportunity to learn something about yourself.

Fiona: 16:31

Yeah, I love that, that, that it's, it's not just movement for movement, but it's movement for you. And it's a deeper learning to trust learning to get to know you. Learning to know where you are each day, and having that awareness. So it gives you that time and that reflective piece to actually bring that awareness because it comes back to that physical mind body connection. How when maybe you can't do a move, or you hopped in, as you say, you stepped on the mat, or you went in the gym with an expectation of how the workout was going to go or how the lesson or the class was going to go and it didn't go that way, or it's, you know, started to go off track or your body didn't do the thing that you wanted it to do. That's that opportunity for connection into that into that mind what is it that I need? Where am I today? What, what is it that I do need? So,

Lara: 17:26

That awareness. Yeah, yeah.

Fiona: 17:29

I remember because you have a little video collection of little short videos that were sort of yoga, play yoga, really. And I remember we were doing things with books, and blocks and chairs and all sorts of things. And I actually remember taking a video of myself one day doing it, and the whole and I felt weird the whole time I was doing I think it was a 15 minute video. So it wasn't, it was like a short class that you were doing. And I I sat and I did it for 15 minutes, and I filmed myself. And I felt so awkward from the start and I pushed on and I did the full 15 minutes, but I just I didn't feel as refreshed as I had on other days. And I remember going back and looking at the video, and the video was fuzzy. I don't know what happened. I don't know why video was fuzzy. But it just wasn't clear and I thought that's exactly how I felt during that class today, I just fely fuzzy. But, you know, I picked it up the next day and did another 15 minutes and felt great again the next day. So it's it's Yeah, I think sometimes just being okay with that, you know, and, and accepting where you're at. Yeah.

Lara: 18:44

Yeah and I think also, you know, sometimes we get a little bit like, caught up in what movement has to be or that it's always about a certain thing, like you're going to the gym to lose weight or you're trying to get more flexible or stronger, or sometimes it's just like really good for mental health and just to move your body is in the smallest of ways and I think with COVID, and having to improvise in terms of the way, you know, I began to teach online and finding stuff around the house that you can use and books and scarves and just things to play with and we become so caught up in like, Oh, you have to have the right equipment or the right gear, or you have to look a certain way and none of it's important.

It's like, how do you feel about yourself, you know, when you're by yourself, and what can you do to feel better. So if it's like, I'm just going to roll on the floor, rolling is an amazing tool to like, build up core strengths, so is crawling, and we used to do a lot of that even in, in the physical, you know, the face to face classes, I would teach and balancing blocks on your hands and it's, it's finding how to move in a way that's interesting to you, or makes you feel joyful, and awesome if you build strength along the way, or you become more flexible along the way, but that was never the ultimate goal, the ultimate goal was to feel better.

So whatever that means to you and that's the same in in the movement choice, or the movement style that you might choose. So whether it's doing aerial, or skateboarding, or cycling, or CrossFit, whatever, you know, whatever makes you happy and maybe in the moment of doing it, it doesn't make you happy, but afterwards you feel happy. Or maybe it's just going to the class and the people in the class make you feel happy, because they encourage you there's a community there.

So I think it's also looking at movement in a different way. It's not punishment, you shouldn't feel like you’re hurting yourself, or you’re trying to teach yourself something, you know, it's just to kind of get curious about your body like, oh, how would it look, if I brush my teeth while standing on my left leg? Cool. I'm doing like balancing for two minutes without even thinking about it, so all those tiny little like, things which I actually forgot about along the way, I have to also continue to remind myself, we did more of that during COVID and then kind of life went back to normality and I think we forgot a bunch of those things. But yeah, I know, with your journey, too, you've you found different ways to move and different things that have brought you joy. So.

Fiona: 21:42

Yeah, absolutely. And it's, it's taken time as well, and it's taken finding something a little bit different, or trying something a little bit different. One of the questions that I often ask my clients, is, because you're absolutely I think there's often a goal when we, when we associate exercise or movement, it's sometimes you know, about that punishment piece, or it's because I feel I need to earn the right to eat something, or I need to burn off enough calories to do this thing, or I need to lose weight, or as you say, build strength or get some flexibility and I think that's a nice thing to do, as well, to have to have a little bit of a goal there, but you're you know, I think it can be so much more than that at the same time. So one of the questions that I ask my clients is, if, if all exercise if all movement, burnt the same amount of calories, right if there was no energy difference would you choose to do?

And the number of people who say things like, I would do some gentle yoga, I would go for a walk instead of a run. I had one who said I would love to do a belly dancing class, go do a belly dancing class, go enjoy it. And I think sometimes, as you said, it's about that those stories we make up in our head, around these things and those beliefs we have and incorporating some of those little bits and pieces into other areas as well. So just in that day to day...

I remember when I started doing ballet, again, as an adult, we were doing what we would call the relevé so up and down on your toes, and when I was at work, I would when I had to print something at the printer, I would be at the photocopier and I put my photocopy of it there and I'd be up and down on my toes. Maybe for only a minute or two but it just it brought a little bit of that thing that I liked into my workday. So finding those moments, I think of joy in it, in a way that works for you.

Lara: 23:53

Yeah, that's so true. And like you say, of course, having goals is amazing. And to build strength or build flexibility is great. But sometimes it's the thing that holds us back. Because we, we put so much pressure on ourselves to have to achieve that goal, that we don't even take the first step and I think the hardest thing is to take that first step, and the first step is maybe just lying on the floor and rolling around, or the first step is signing up for a new gym or stepping into a studio or, but the anxiety or the worry, or the nervousness that might be attached to all of that sometimes is what holds us back. So if you can kind of spin it in the way that you think about it yourself, and how you maybe frame movement.

And it's like, well, what's the worst that could happen? So maybe I step into the gym, and I feel awkward, I don't know how to use the machinery, people are looking at me. It's okay, like, you'll be okay, you'll be able to leave the gym and life will carry on, but I think we often just make these huge stories in our heads and it just holds us back from like experiencing so much of, of the joy of movement and the joy of life.

And I just have to share a quick story. One of the students who came to the aerial classes, she landed up doing private lessons with me, she was in her late 50s, when she started and she had never done any sort of aerial. But she had seen the photos, she had seen the pretty pictures and she wanted to get into these poses. And it landed up being so much more for her because she, she was so scared at the start, but she built up the confidence, she became more and more comfortable and she actually went on to teach herself how to swim. She never learned how to swim as a child and she she developed this confidence in herself like, wow, I could do this, like I could do aerial from being so scared and now what else could I do? And it was amazing to watch she, yeah, she started swimming in the ocean and she was just so happy with life. So sometimes it's not always the thing that brings us into the space, that's going to be you know, the ultimate thing, it's, it might change our life, it might switch something about our perspective, we might meet people by doing the movement. So there's so many reasons to to get moving into try different forms of movement.

Fiona: 26:31

I love that I love that she developed that, that confidence and that it wasn't just about exercising, but it was the doorway that opened up so much more. And similar to you in on your teaching journey. You know, it was like that's it's the movement was just the start really to open up into to really change and build that relationship with yourself.

Lara: 26:56

Yeah, it's it's amazing what what movement can bring into your life, but I think for anyone listening who's who's worried about, you know, taking that first step, I'd encourage you just to try something that interests you, even if you're unsure, to, to try out a new studio or to try out a class online in the comfort of your own home. Yeah, it comes down to that that first step is the biggest one.

Fiona: 27:27

I love that. Take that first step and, and make sure you ask yourself when you're when you're in that and that worry or that fear. I love those questions that you mentioned before. Was it Is it true? Is it real? Or is it something that I'm making up that I'm telling myself about? About what's going on? Give yourself that to to reflect and you never know where you might go.

Lara: 27:56

Yeah

Fiona: 27:57

Thank you so much for coming on. That was such a beautiful conversation.

Lara: 28:00

Oh it's been fun.

Fiona: 28:02

And I know that you're traveling all around the place at the moment, but I know that some of your videos is still there and accessible for people as you say for anyone on from the comfort of your own home if you want to tap into Lara's playfulness. We'll put the details in the show notes.

But thank you so much for coming.

Lara: 28:23

Thank you for having me. It was fun to chat and journey down the road of movement and yeah.

Fiona: 28:31

Get playing everyone

Lara: 28:32

Yeah, get playing

Josephine: 28:38

Before we finish up for today, we would like to acknowledge the original custodians of the lands on which our podcast is created, the Ngāi Tahu people of Aotearoa New Zealand,

Fiona: 28:47

and the Cammeraygal people of the Eora Nation Australia. We pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging and to all our listeners who identify as Aboriginal, Torres Straight Islander, or Maori.

Josephine: 29:00

We love connecting with you, our listeners and talking about the topics that mean the most to you. Reach out to us on Instagram at Outside the Square Podcast and let us know what you want to hear more of.

Fiona: 29:11

Until next week, keep stepping outside your square.

Lara: 29:16

I always think like I’ve got a lot of insight from listening to podcasts, so if, not that I feel like I have much to share, but if anything lands with anyone it’s, yeah, it’s hopefully worth the experience

Fiona: 29:32

Yeah